Long drive and the Heidelberg Castle

Being Uneasy

Has anyone ever thought that our unease and anxiety for seemingly no apparent reason could actually be something other than a god like being? You may be asking, why would she all of a sudden bring this up? Well I was reading a blog. This person was talking about how great god is and how "his" blessings are wonderful yadda yadda. The reason for this out pouring of love and thankfulness is because her husband nearly avoided being in some extreme danger in the desert. Yea, this guy was anxious and uneasy. Umm he was in a very bad place to be an american soldier for one. Plus you know how we as human beings feel these feelings under stress and new situations that we were not prepared for? Yea He could have felt these things easily and I don't think it was any god thing at all. I have some questions.. Why does god choose certain believers over others? Oh before I start going off I want to say that he narrowly missed going to a place that was under attack and didn't know till after the fact. I am sure there were plenty of christian believers at this base that was attacked. We are talking about the american military. I am sure many of those men and women if not all were praying to thier christian god. So why this one guy that wasn't there? Why spare him the grief of being attacked and the brush with death? I don't get it. And lets also remember the people that the military are fighting. These men are god fearing religious people as well. They pray, they do what they think god wants them to do, they just are not christians. I am sure the men who didn't die or get injured are praising thier god for surviving and or showing the enemy who is boss. This goes for both sides. Something to think about I guess. I know I will be terrified and anxious when my hubby leaves. I know I will be thinking about him randomly all the time. What I do know is that unfortunately I will not be relying on any gods' will for my husband's safety. It is not very stable obviously.

Growing up and other pains

Don't you hate it when you have a lot of things you would like to be doing but just do not seem to be up to it, so you just sit around and go about life and be bored until you make yourself do stuff. Well I am at the making myself do stuff point. There will be no Mister for a good part of the next year and I want to do a lot of stuff but I am, unfortunately, one of those peoples that has to make themselves get off thier asses and it takes a few to do so. I am on a good start. I am giving myself a very nice pat on the back too. I have a applied to start going to school, (well online, since I am in a different country and I do not speak the german language so well yet). The school has one of the most redundant names ever, the University of Maryland University College. Just in case you did not know it was a place of higher learning you know. I am also pursuing other things that I have lazy abiout and all I have to say is, it is about time. blah! maybe some more later...

Bad Blogging in Germany

First off I want to say that I am a loser. We need to buy a memory card for our digital but we have not because, for lack of a better word, lazy. We should have many more pictures, but we do not yet. We will soon though and I will posting away. Now that we have lived here for 2 months, I can safely say what a beautiful country this is. It is so rich in history and I am extremely anxious about getting out more and doing more things and seeing more things. That being said I would like to let everyone know how everything has been and what not.
Nari and Dita did really well on both flights. Nari did expieriance some issues when the first plane landed, but after that it was all good. My high school german only went so far when we got here. I am trying to not be so timid when speaking to germans, but it is so hard because I know I sound like a fool. Lucky for us, so far the Germans we have met have spoken english. What does that say about us huh? hehe. When we first got here we were stuck on post. We had no car and no money so it made things a little difficult to leave. We have been to downtown Mannheim and it is like nothing I have really seen before. It is a big city, but I cannot even compare it to New York, Chicago, or New Orleans (3 large cities I have been to). We rode down on the Strassenbahn (street car) and we saw the local castle and the attatched church, The castle is now used as a college. I will be going back there, so more to come on that end. We saw a second church as well and a beautiful ornate watertower. A little aside, both churches were catholic but one was "old" Catholic whilst the other was "Roman" Catholic. Now I never new there was an Old Catholic church (faith wise) and I found this very intriguing and it is something I want to look more into. I know all about the Roman Catholic church since I grew up Roman Catholic. Anyways, we have been up to Rammstein and Darmstadt and Burg Frankenstein. The scenery is beautiful and I have a goal to start taking my camera with me so I can share these wonderful expieriances. We have only eaten out 3 times. We have eaten at a bakery, a cafe, and a chinese take out place. Oh I lie, there is a sandwich called a Donner that is quite tasty that we have had too. It is Turkish and they are street venders and there is a little place on base that sells them too. There is even a McDonner (lol). The mister had Mcdonald's here. He liked it better then the US ones. Beer is good and I have not found a wine that I like yet. That is it so far. I will do some more typing at a later time. For those friends of mine that like me, Vonage is up and running and our Virginia number works so you can give us a call. We are 6 hours in the future so mind your manners, hehe. I hope to do some talking soon.

Okay for those friends of mine who read this. I have not disapeared. I just have to use an incredibly crappy library pc and cannot do anything on it. I will be back on here in a month or hopefully less. Things are beautiful and my monsters are more monster ish.


LOVE, GAZ

Hotel Living and No Cable

Well I just completed 5 days of living in a hotel room and I can tell you I am not looking forward to it when we get to Germany. Tonnight we will be staying at a good friends house (hence the internets). I think I gained the nasty wieght I had lost from all the salty no good food I have been eating recentlty. I am tired and I do not like my children at teh moment. Having not a lot to do and no money helps that bit out too. We get on the plane tommorow. I am still in the process of getting our things packed and organized. I hate this laptop so I must depart. Hope to be back with the internets soon.

The final countdown

Well not really. We will have no phone or cable for awhile and that should prove entertaining. We go to temp housing tommorow and then it is cleaning time and more packing for me and then get all of our crap done and we leave. I am tired just thinking about it. Just in case you are wondering about the image.. I am too. I love myconfinedspace.com , gives me a lot of down time for my brain.

Woot! and other expressions

Alright our passports are here so it is definately go time for us. I am extremely happy about it. Wow we will be leaving in a little over a week. That is crazy. I have been cleaning all our crap out and I need more oomph. One more day and I will not have the phone or the internet at my disposal for a few. Should be fun. Good times even. I am going to miss my family and friends so much. I have some worries, but not too many. I am hoping to see my oldest baby this Christmas so I am hoping I will not miss him too badly. It has been tough enough without him all the time for the last couple of years and I am hoping he understands and knows how much I love him and that i will be there forever for him. Uhg! Getting sappy now so I must leave.

Moving is Such a Pain in the Ass

The time is fast approaching to when I will leave the USA and go on a new adventure to another country for the next 3 years and maybe longer. I am getting that excitement going again and all the crap that I had going on in my head has deminished. YAY for me. Now I just have to keep it that way and not let the crazies sneak up in my head again. I hate the crazies. You get all paranoid and your belly starts churning along with your head aching. I am hoping that it will be one of the last time it will happen to me and I hope that next time I can control all of the feelings that I have built p inside of me. I blame a lot of outside help for this one but I do know I am the only one who can do anything about it and take care of it. No ones fault but my own. This is a new and beautiful week and on Wednesday the movers will start comming and packing and we will be going away. A new life and a new adventure and a lot to explore and get lost in. Now i just need a bigger memory card for my digital cam and all should be right with the world. Now I must get the dressing done and start the day. BTW i just want to express that when you are in a long commited relationship and you fight, the make up sex is awesome.

Too much in the brain meats

I dunno what the hell is wrong. I have too many things to think about and not enough head room and emotions to compensate. I am afraid of being gullible too and that does not help. I have always been one not to think about what others think but it is always harder to do such a thing when you have a very much loved one seemingly talking about you to others that you cannot help but care. Then there are all the other twisted things that are seemingly going on with this person and it is driving me mad.

On another note, my house stinks and I have no clue why. I have cleaned and cleaned more and alas have not found where the mysterious smell is comming from. Everyone i ask tells me that my house does not stink and I do not believe them. Is it not a friend's job to try and make you feel better when you think something is amiss? SO I think that is what they are doing. Trying to be polite.

I really, really want to hurry up and move. The stillness that I have in my life right now is not amusing or relaxing. It is if I am just waiting and I cannot do anything because all has stood still till the move. Hence my relationship is sucking. I guess it is to make the wait for the move more exciting. I am bored and I have felt a whole lot of crappy. Today is better though already and that is a big thing. I am going to go to the park with the monsters. Should be fun. I hope it is not too hot and humid.